You Know That, Right?
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: Morgan and Garcia. Derek is shocked to learn that Penelope has started dating Lynch. Doesn't his baby girl love him back? 2008
1. Chapter 1

Premise- _This chapter takes place during season three and starts immediately following the scene where Derek learns that Penelope is dating Lynch. This knowledge comes from JJ and is given to him in front of Prentiss and Reid. He walked off right after_.

_This happened in episode fourteen of that season. In a deleted scene, available on you tube, for this episode Penelope is very jumpy and asks Derek for personal space and to be allowed to have a private life. I think that, along with Lynch going to Rossi to discuss dating Penelope, is to allude to the fact she either slept with Lynch the night before or is just about to do so._ _This is only five episodes after she was shot._

_This story is very angsty. It has six chapters._

**You Know That, Right?**

**Chapter One**

_Oh hell no._

Those three little words hissed through Derek Morgan's brain as he digested what he had just heard. His baby girl had a man in her life....in her freaking bed, probably,....and he had no clue about it. He felt a myriad of emotions as he headed to her office.

Pissed off. Hurt. Betrayed. Stupid. Foolish. Ignorant. His skin steaming hot. His insides icy cold. His jaw clenched and his stomach rolled.

He felt wrung out. Twisted up. Torn to shreds.

When it came to Penelope Garcia she always seemed to take him places no other woman could and they still hadn't even shared a real kiss. They met at work four years before. At first she was just the cute new girl at the office but over time she became the bright spot in his day, his best flirting partner ever, and his closest friend. She was the only woman he could hold in his arms and feel like he was loved by her. Every other woman was just someone he dated for a while or was buddies with....he didn't get his heart involved with them.

That was where he screwed up. He let her mean too much to him. If he hadn't he wouldn't hurt like this right now.

Just a couple months back he had believed that letting himself fall in love with her was the best thing he ever did. Even if he wasn't sure he _did_ it. There was no doubt he had fallen in love but it felt out of his control- not a conscious decision.

He was actually kind of scared of the whole thing but excited too. They got really close- taking everything between them to a new level- around the time when she was shot by a perp who used the cruelest method to get his opportunity to try and murder her. He pretended to be romantically interested in her.

Battle coming into their life was the most painful thing they ever faced together. But it also- so Derek had believed - got them past pretending that friendship was enough. That happened for him before the bullet even went into her. As soon as she told him she had a date with another man the wheels in his head started turning, screaming "This isn't right!", and soon he was asking her to go out with him instead. He learned a lot about his baby girl on that day.

When he saw her laying in a hospital bed he learned he could not ever get over it if she died. She was the game changer in his life. He was hers. It was time to let her know and pray she felt the same. Pray she wanted him just as bad.

He hadn't prayed as much in twenty years- since Carl Buford took him to a cabin and he prayed for God to make it stop- as Derek prayed over Penelope around that time. Before she was shot, while she was in the hospital, and after she came home. He kept praying she would recover- physically and emotionally- and be his sweet, funny, sexy, confident baby girl again.

Even if she didn't go back to who she was before the shooting that was okay though. He would still love her. Whoever she became he would love that woman. Just as long as he could be with his baby girl- her smile, her touch, her eyes on his, her voice on the other end of the phone.

God, she meant the world to him and now she had hooked up with some other guy. After Derek said he loved her! The only woman he ever said that to and meant it, instead of using it to get sex. He hadn't done that in a good ten years but back in college he wasn't quite the man he was today. He was just a player who never connected emotionally to anyone.

The BAU, in general, and Penelope, in particular, changed all that. He had people to bond with at a level he hadn't allowed since Carl Buford touched him. And he had her. She would make him laugh and she would make him see the good in an evil world.

He had actually thanked God, just two months ago, for her. And he had been crazy enough to think she was his gift on this earth.

His own personal salvation.

But he was fooling himself, he knew now, cause she was involved with another man. If he heard this a year ago he would have been okay with it. He was playing the field and didn't intend to settle down. She was special to him but he couldn't offer her anything- back then.

Now he thought they were right on the edge of something epic. _What a dumb ass I am_, he said to himself as he pushed his way into her office.

"Hey," he gritted out.

She spun around from her computer and jumped to her feet. Looking very jittery. "You snuck up on me!"

Looking at her he knew she had a very guilty conscious.

_What in the hell?_ he asked himself. _Just how far has she gone with Lynch? And why did she go there? What was that great about Lynch_?

"You should know, Garcia, that Lynch is in with Rossi right now."

"What? Why? What is he doing? I need to go! Sorry, Hot Stuff, for running out on you."

Derek moved to block her path. "Hold on a minute....."

She stopped in front of him but he could tell she wanted to be anywhere but there. "Really, love, I don't have time to chat right now."

"You're.....are you with him, baby girl?"

Their eyes held for a long moment. She babbled out "I wouldn't say I'm with him! Its really new and I don't know what I'd call it. I told him the frat rules prohibit us from taking it anywhere. I can't believe he went to Rossi behind my back. I've got to go stop him before he ruins my career."

She ran out. Derek's hands went to his hips and he looked down.

"_Hey, silly girl, I love you. You know that, right?"_

"_I love you too."_

Derek shut his eyes against the memory.

"Damn it," he whispered.

_(Of all the things I believed in,  
I just want to get it over with._

_  
Tears form behind my eyes  
but I do not cry.  
Counting the days that passed me by._

_I've been searching deep down in my soul.  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old.  
Feels like I'm starting all over again.  
The last three years were just pretend_!

_And I say  
goodbye to you.  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew._

_  
You were the one I love.  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to._) (Michelle Branch)


	2. Chapter 2

**You Know That, Right?**

**Note- This chapter takes place during season three episode fifteen titled "A Higher Power"**

**Chapter Two**

"Office of the All Knowing. Speak to me."

Emily Prentiss snapped "What's wrong with Morgan?"

"Why do you ask? How is he acting?"

"Like a jerk. He won't listen to what anyone says about this case being the work of an unsub and not just a bunch of random suicides. He's being completely stubborn and combative. You sure you don't know what's bothering him?"

"I really couldn't say. Sorry. Anything I can do on my end?"

"Just keep digging into the lives of the victims. I have a new name to add to your list: Beth Smoler. S-m-o-l-e-r. And look into what drugs, if any, were found in the autopsy reports of the earliest victims."

"Got it. Garcia out."

Penelope starting type but her mind was consumed with worry over Derek. She had a bad feeling she knew what was bothering him and if that was true she had made a hell of a mistake by ever going on any dates with Lynch.

XXXXXXXXXXX

It felt good to take down Peter Redding, a guy who saw himself as an angel of mercy, and Morgan relished the moment. He had pulled the man out of a car, thrown him down and slapped handcuffs on him.

In that moment, with the adrenaline rushing, Morgan felt better than he had in days. Between the time he had learned about Penelope dating Kevin Lynch and when they flew to Pittsburgh for this case he had been keeping busy every way he knew how. Always doing something physical in his off time to tire out his body so he might be able to sleep- like lifting weights, sparring at his gym, jogging, taking Clooney on long walks and working on his investment properties. He focused on each task with intense determination and did not let himself slip into thoughts about his baby girl being with another man.

It felt very hard to be alive this last week. Like he was drowning. But if he kept moving he knew that soon he could flash a smile again that was real.

At least he hoped so. He really had no practical knowledge in being broken hearted. His biggest priority was not showing anyone how he was feeling. Though the team was annoyed at him for his cranky behavior during this last case- arguing with their logic every step of the way- he found that better than if they all felt sorry for him over missing out on his chance to date Penelope. He never wanted any of them to know what went down.

It would make him feel dumb to explain to anyone how he could have gotten in this situation. Torn up inside over a woman that he had never kissed who pushed him aside for a nerd who could barely dress himself properly. The whole thing would be laughable if it wasn't so damn painful and pitiful.

Wasn't he supposed to be able to get any woman he wanted? Everyone thought that and told him that. But the reality wasn't that at all.

He only wanted one woman and she didn't want him back. He was trying to avoid her around the BAU and let other people call her during cases. But she called him earlier in the day- to report the toxicology results- and he had to act like he was just fine.

There was no use in telling her otherwise. She knew he loved her. It just didn't matter to her.

When the team got back to their headquarters Morgan was worn out, yet his mind was racing over the whole situation. He just wanted to get his paperwork done, go get his dog from the kennel, take him on a late night jog and then fall into bed.

When he spotted Penelope sitting at his desk, working on her lap top, his steps slowed. The rest of the team broke off to go their own separate ways, as Derek walked up to her. "What's up, Garcia? You need something?"

She popped out of his chair. Her eyes were wide again. Guilty as sin. "Hi!"

"Were you waiting for me?"

"Yeah...um...I was wondering if you wanted to go out and get a drink so we could have a talk."

"Something the matter?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe."

"What's going on?" He couldn't help it. He cared. He cared too damn much for his own good.

"I wanted to discuss with you this whole Kevin thing."

"You two having problems already? It hasn't even been a month, has it?"

"No and no....we're not having problems. We're great."

"Good to hear. You know all I want is to know you're happy, baby girl. He better treat you right."

"So you think it's a smart idea to date someone I work with?"

"Follow your heart, sweetheart." He focused on unpacking his briefcase.

"About that drink....?"she asked, as she fidgeted around behind him.

"Sorry but I'm bushed, baby. Maybe you better ask JJ to join you. You two would have more fun gabbing about your new man than you would with me anyway. Trust me on that. Tonight all I'm fit for is my couch, a beer and the sports highlights."

"Oh! Okay. Um....that's all right. I'll let you do your paperwork then so you can get out of here." She grabbed her lap top and started to walk away.

He turned and watched her leave. "Hey...."

She turned to look at him.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and his eyes got dark. His voice was deep and thick with emotion when he said "Its very good to see you getting on with your life after all that happened."

"Thanks!" she said, brightly, spun around and rushed off.

Derek let out a shaking breath, sat down and got to work on his files, completely ignoring how he could barely read them for the tears in his eyes. He went to the bathroom and when he came back he was under control again.

XXXXXXXXX

Penelope raced away from Derek's desk and went straight to JJ's office. She knocked and after her friend said to come in she hurried inside. "I think I totally messed up the best thing to ever happen to me!"

"Calm down. What happened?"

"Have you noticed that Morgan has not been himself this last week?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. He's been kinda moody."

"He's nearly ignoring me! I have to call him. Go to him. Corner him almost to get him to look at me and when he does its with all this....pain...in his eyes and I'm just worried....did I do this to him?"

"Sit down. Take some deep breaths."

Penelope instead paced the small room. "What did I do?! I hurt him, my beautiful chocolate adonis who would give his life for me! I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve to have his love. Which works out great since I obviously lost it now."

"Did anything happen between you two that you didn't tell me about?"

"No. I told you everything that happened when he stayed at my apartment after I was hurt. He was fantastic to me. And, yes, like you know, he said he loved me but he couldn't have meant it as more than friends....could he? And even if he did he was in an emotionally messed up state because of all that happened. He didn't ever say that before. He couldn't even imagine a hot guy being into me! And they don't come hotter than him. He said he loved me because he was upset about all that happened and didn't want me to feel alone....right? He would have done the same thing for any member of this team, don't you think? Tell me that I didn't misread this whole thing and hook up with someone else right after he poured his heart out to me."

Slowly JJ said "Of course Morgan would protect any one of us."

"Right! He loves everyone on this team."

"Sure he does but there has always been something...more....a deeper bond...between you and him. And I don't mean the flirting you two do at all. Take that out of the picture and he's still closer with you then any of us. He lets you in where none of the rest of us will ever be able to go. And you do the same for him. Is he in love with you? I don't know. But you should know if you're in love with him. So....are you?"


	3. Chapter 3

**You Know That, Right?**

**Note- This chapter takes place during season three episode sixteen titled "An Elephant's Memory" The quote mentioned below was used in the episode. **

"_A sad soul can kill you faster than any germ."_ John Steinbeck

**Chapter Three**

Derek Morgan was getting better at faking that he was happy. He could smile a little at Penelope again and really mean it.

It wasn't that he didn't hurt just as much deep inside but he was getting used to the hurt now. It was becoming a part of him- which scared him a little. Like his heartbreak was a scar that would never go away. He would just have to deal with carrying the pain in his bones for the rest of his life.

Even if that was the case he didn't regret falling in love with her. She still was the sunshine in his world, even on his darkest days.

He was at the gym when he got paged that there was a new case. After grabbing a quick shower he got dressed and headed into the BAU. He happened to be on the elevator when Penelope walked up and said "Hold those doors, Hot Stuff."

He did as she asked and she got on.

"Baby girl. It looks like this case ruined your date." He looked at the sexy dress she had on.

"Nothing like that," she said quickly. "I was having dinner with the girls. I just beat them here in Esther.....actually....um...I'mnotwithKevinanymore."

"What was that?"

"Uh...the Kevin thing....didn't work out, handsome." She turned her big brown eyes on him and he felt himself freeze as he stared into them.

Then the doors opened and he motioned for her to walk out. "Did Lynch do something to hurt you?"

"Of course not! He's a wonderful man!"

Derek stopped walking. "I don't get it. If he's so wonderful than why did you dump....wait, did he end it with you?"

"I ended it and I have my reasons."

"Oh. Well....as long as you're okay with it."

"I am. I just hope that..."

"What, baby girl?"

"I hope that everything truly does happen for a reason," she said before she walked off and into the briefing room, taking away Derek's chance to get more answers out of her.

XXXXXX

Penelope worried about how Derek was handling this case. She had heard from Prentiss that Reid was taking it hard, and she felt bad about that, but she knew it could be affecting Derek too.

The team was in Texas. The case centered around teenage bullies who had forced a boy to masturbate on camera and then put in on the internet. Derek was around the same age when he was forced into sexual acts. It could be bringing back bad memories.

She wondered how she could help him to get through this when he got home. Last time they returned from a case he wouldn't even get a drink with her.

Would he be more receptive now that he knew that Kevin was out of her life? Did that matter to him at all? Had she broken things off with a great guy, who she had tons in common with, for no reason at all? She really needed to ask Derek what he meant when he said he loved her but she didn't want to be let down if his answer was "As a friend," or "You're like family to me."

Plus if she had messed up and hurt him she wanted to give him time to heal and be ready to forgive her before she apologized. It all felt too raw right now. The last few months had taken a heavy toll on them.

She prayed that they wouldn't break under the weight of this. When Derek called about the case, after he asked her what to find, she asked him "Hey, do you think you can do me a favor when you get back in town?"

"What do you need?"

"There's this pipe broken in my bathroom and I can't use the sink in there. I'd get a plumber but with my hours I'm never home to meet him and my landlord has a million excuses. It would be such a big help to me if you could be my hero and take a look at it. I can offer you pizza as payment. You pick the toppings. Please, Morgan, I really need that sink to properly do my make up-"

"Say no more. I'll take a look for you."

"As soon as you come back?"

"I'll probably need a part so-"

"Maybe not and I really do need that sink. I can't go out looking less than my normal Goddess self."

"Fine, baby girl," he said, his voice filled with indulgence. "As soon as I get back I'll look at it."

"Thank you!"

"Bye, sweetheart."

She clicked off the call and said "You don't call me brilliant for nothing, baby."

Even if she wasn't ready to discuss them she could at least be who she had always been to him. The friend he needed to help chase the darkness away. On her lunch hour she went home and clogged up the pipe with hair out of her hair brush.

XXXXXXXXX

Derek found that he was feeling the most relaxed as he had in months when he walked up to Penelope's door. Even during the time he stayed with her after she was shot he wasn't feeling this good.

They were both wracked with nightmares then. The days were spent trying to joke and fill the hours, with her constantly telling him to go home and back to his life and him telling her he would do that when she was ready to go back to work again.

When she did go back he was afraid it was too soon for her. Or maybe it was just too soon for him to give up living with her. That first case was hard. He didn't want to be in California. He wanted to be home with her. Checking on her by calling helped to ease his mind but he didn't feel really good again till he was back in Quantico, in her computer lab with her.

Of course, looking back now, he wonders if she was already sleeping with Kevin on that day. He pushes that thought out of his mind. He's come to see his baby girl and he won't let anything- especially that guy she dated for a month- get in his way.

Derek knocked on the door. Soon she opened it, wearing a big smile and very colorful sweat pants, plus a huge t-shirt that was tie dyed.

He had seen her in this outfit before. It reminded him of the hours they spent watching movies together or when he would read her novels as she tried to fall asleep, doped up on medicine but afraid of nightmares so she fought dozing off.

He chuckled at her outfit, as he wore a tender smile, "Hey, baby, point me toward your broken sink."

"Its in the bathroom and thank you so much for coming over tonight. I really appreciate it."

"Anything for you, honey."

They ended up in the bathroom together, crouched down as he used a tool to take apart her sink, clean out the hair and then put it back together. "Should be good as new now."

"You're my hero, sweetness."

There was a knock on the door. Penelope said "Pizza's here."

Derek washed his hands and then he met her in the living room, after she already paid the delivery guy. "You didn't have to get us dinner. You don't owe me anything ever for helping you. I do it because I lo....because you're important to me."

"I know but you have to eat and so why not eat with me? I know you're a sexy stud who doesn't load up on carbs but this is my type of comfort food, after chocolate...." she then flirted "which you know if my favorite."

He got out some plates and drinks and joined her on the couch. "I'm starving. Thanks, baby girl. You always take such good care of me."

She placed her hand on his back and rubbed soft circles. "That's what I'm here for."

Derek almost felt in that moment she was trying to apologize to him but he wasn't sure and he didn't know what he would say if she did. Nothing changed the fact that she picked Lynch over him.

But nothing also changed the fact that he would rather be here with her tonight than anywhere else in the world.


	4. Chapter 4

**You Know That, Right?**

**Note- This chapter takes place during season three episode seventeen titled "In Heat" The quote mentioned below was used in the episode. **

"_If we knew each other's secrets, what comfort we would find_." John Churton Collins

**The second half of the chapter takes place during season three episode eighteen titled "The Crossing.**"

**Chapter Four**

Derek Morgan watched as JJ kissed Will- a guy she had been seeing on the down low for about a year. She hadn't wanted anyone to know but they all figured it out anyway.

The only person she talked to about it, that Derek knew, was Penelope but Penelope usually clammed up if anyone so much as tried to get information out of her about it. Her pretty red lips were sealed on that subject.

She was the oracle of all knowing. Not all telling.

Seeing JJ and Will put Morgan in a contemplative state. JJ had been holding back on going for what she really wanted because of her fears. That hit home for him.

Why wasn't he trying to talk to Garcia about his feelings for her? His fear of being rejected and his anger and pain over her not wanting him more than she wanted Lynch.

But none of that changed his feelings. If he was going to be in love with her anyway shouldn't he at least see if she now wanted him? That way he'd have an answer instead of being caught in this _not with her but not able to be with anyone else either _purgatory.

Still he was in a better mood lately. Laughing and joking again. Did he really want to rock the boat? She just didn't know how much power she had over him.

He was in Miami- far from his baby girl. Luckily, their case was over and he was looking forward to going home. He missed her too much to wait to talk to her so he walked away from Prentiss and Reid, in the police station, and dialed his phone.

She answered with "Hello, my love."

"Hi, girl, we're about to head to the jet."

"I made us all dinner reservations at that Italian place JJ loves so make sure no one eats. Tell me, how is she?"

"She's happier than I've seen her in a long while."

"Yes! Score!"

"Yeah, LaMontagne being down here blew her cover but she seems all right with it."

"I'm so happy for her, sweetness."

"I've got to go. See you in a few hours, baby."

"Your Goddess eagerly awaits your return."

He hung up with a huge smile on his face. There was no denying it anymore. When things were good with Penelope his life was good and when they were off track he was miserable.

His world revolved around her. He didn't want it any other way though.

XXXXXXXXX

The time sat around the table at the restaurant, all laughing and joking. Looking at them Derek remembered how scared they were when Penelope was shot- in his mind he goes back to the moment when he walked into the hospital- and he liked how happy they were now.

If she would have died nothing like this night would have ever happened again. He would have left the BAU and gone home to Chicago, to hole up there and close out the world.

The team would have changed forever.

But that didn't happen. She was saved by the doctors and later by Derek himself and Battle was killed by JJ. They all pulled together. His baby girl was still alive.

He turned his head and looked at her, as she sat next to him. They shared a long look. Then he snuck his hand under the table and took her hand. His pain was easing more and more everyday- and that was all because of her.

The lives they all lived were filled with pain and horror but there were rare moments of joy interspersed for all of them too. Derek wanted to believe he could find his joy with Penelope.

Still there was a voice in the back of his head that warned to be careful now. He couldn't be sure if she felt the same. As she squeezed his hand it felt like-in that moment- she did love him back, though.

(_What if that road that you're taking's a dead end?  
What if love leaves you all jaded and broken?What if that limb breaks you're climbing out on?_

_-  
Yeah, what if it all goes wrong?_

_-_

_But what if it all goes right?  
What if it all works out?  
What if the stars line up  
and good luck rains down?_

_-  
What if you chase your dreams  
and it changes your whole life?_

_-  
Yeah, what if it all goes right?_

_-_

_What if that road is a beautiful slow drive?  
What if that love ends up lasting a life time?  
What if that limb holds you- oak tree strong?_

_  
What if this time nothing goes wrong_?) (Melissa Lawson)

XXXXXXXXX

_Susan B. Anthony said, "A woman must not depend on the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself."_

Dealing with a case of a woman being stalked had freaked Penelope out. She had several bad moments when all she could think about was Battle. The other case she had to work that day was a woman who claimed to be abused.

Thinking about that, how woman are such easy victims, upset her and she ranted to Morgan on the phone "Do you know how many woman are killed each year by men? And the saddest part is most of them know their attacker. Do you know when the most dangerous time in a woman's life, when she is most likely to be killed, is?"

He let out an unhappy sigh. "When she's pregnant."

"That's right! And she is usually murdered by the father of her baby. That's just....I don't know what that is...wait yes I do....its inhumane. Women are treated worse in this world than dogs."

"By some people, baby. Not by everyone."

"I know, handsome. This case just sucks. I ran into Keri when she was here and she was so scared.....JJ was shaken by meeting her and, to be honest, so was I."

"I'll be back soon. Hang in there for me, gorgeous, and make sure you're in the office when I get back. I've got something in mind for us to do tonight."

Her heart raced. "I'm intrigued, my love. Care to give me some hints or should I hack your phone to see if you looked up any movies or restaurants or sporting events?"

He laughed. "Woman, you keep your prying eyes off my phone."

"You're no fun."

"Oh, I'm fun. You'll just have to be patient until you find out just how much fun I can be."

"Oh, now you're teasing me again."

He chuckled. "Deal with it, baby."

"Bye, Hot Stuff."

"Talk to you later, sweetheart."

XXXXXXXXXXX

When he came home he took her to the FBI firing range and taught her how to shoot his gun. She didn't like it but he told her "I need to know you can protect yourself when I'm not around. Can you do this for me?"

She nodded.

He stood behind her and helped her to learn how to stand, hold the weapon, aim, fire, and how to be safe with it. Then he brought back the target. "You're a good shot, baby girl. A little more practice and you'll be great."

"I hate guns!"

"I know, baby, but this is important." He gave her a tender look. "Okay, we're done here for today but now we need to go back to your place for the second part of this lesson."

"A lecture on gun safety?"

"How did you guess?" He grinned widely, holstered the gun, put his hand on her back and led her out of the firing range.

In the next room he signed them out and then he said to her "I know you don't like handling guns but I don't like feeling like you could be in danger when you're away from me.....I need you safe."

"I can handle this. I want to put your mind at ease."

He kissed her forehead. "As long as you're okay, baby, I'm okay."


	5. Chapter 5

**You Know That, Right?**

**Note- This chapter takes place during season three episode** **nineteen titled Tabula Rasa. The quote used below comes from this episode- which is full of flashbacks to when Reid and Garcia were new to the BAU.**

"_All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France.  
_

**Chapter Five**

The case they had was one that started way back in 2004 and got stalled because the suspect went into a coma. Now that he was awake it was time to rebuild the case, recheck their evidence and get more so the prosecutor would have enough to get a conviction.

For days they talked about the past. And the time frame that happened to be most relevant was at the very same time that Derek met Penelope.

It made him remember how they were back then. That whole first year was amazing. It was exciting to get to know her. To flirt and then push the flirting further and further. The first time he touched her hand, held her hand, touched her shoulders from behind- squeezing them and feeling her shiver with delicious sensual appreciation of his touch-the first time they hugged, when they went to the bar as a team and he found out how she didn't like to dance. The times they stayed way too late in the conference room, going over cases, but really just getting to know each other.

It was one of the best years of his life really. He just didn't fully get that at the time. He was too busy having fun. Screwing around. Feeling invincible.

He didn't feel like that anymore.

Needing to reconnect with Penelope, in the worse way, he headed to her office but he bumped into Lynch as the younger man was trying to walk outside.

"Agent Morgan, good to see you again."

Derek just grunted and walked past him, while Kevin headed down the hall. Letting out a frustrated breath Derek walked inside of the office. "Hey, baby, everything all right?"

Her face was pinched. "Sure!"

He bent in front of her and took her hands. "Don't put on a smiling face for me, okay? What's up with you? What was Lynch doing here?"

"He asked me out for tonight."

Derek stood up and took a few steps back. "You said that was over."

She stood up. "It is, handsome. He's just persistent. He doesn't understand why I ended it when we were getting along well. But I felt....he just isn't the one, you know? I don't think it was a mistake to date him because everything does happen for a reason. I needed all that to happen to see the truth about what my future should be.....at least I think so. I really do want to believe that because if I'm wrong I've hurt good people for no reason....people I hate myself for disappointing."

"Are you confused about if you want Lynch?"

"No! I don't want him. I completely do not want him. On paper we are good together and we had fun but I need....to feel breathless. He doesn't make me breathless. I'm kinda scared of what will happen if I become as breathless as I know I can be....but it's a good scared....an excited nervousness that makes me feel more alive than I have in all my life."

"Did you get with him because you were afraid of that breathless feeling?"

"I just didn't think it could be mine."

"Why not, baby? No man has ever offered you that?"

"One did but I didn't realize it right away."

"He should have been more clear, I guess. Not everyone is as good with their words as you are, sweetness."

She smiled at him. "Well I do give lessons, if you're interested."

He laughed and the tension was broken. "I just came by to ask you if you want to get that drink tonight....the one I owe you from bailing before."

"I would adore that, my hunk of burning love."

He laughed harder. "Don't use that one again."

She teased "Oh, yes, I will and in front of the whole team."

"Woman, I am warning you."

"You don't like it? Spank me."

"Just wait till the next time we are alone somewhere that there aren't cameras."

"I can hardly wait. In fact if you keep me waiting too long I'll have to make a trip to the mall for all new panties."

His eyes widened. "You are so bad, Garcia! You're corrupting me."

"Not enough yet but I could if you ask me nicely."

He chuckled and headed for the door. "I'll be back at quitting time. You be good till then."

"You can't turn a bad girl good, Morgan. You know that, right?"

He couldn't stop grinning as he left. Penelope sunk into her seat and spun around, looking upwards, and sighing happily.

XXXXXXXXXX

By the time they got to the bar Penelope had been struck by a case of the nerves. Her head swam with concerns. She wasn't dressed sexy enough. Were they going to kiss? Would they talk about the whole I love you thing that happened before? Would he expect her to, God help her, _dance_?

Derek could tell she was starting to freak out so he put his hand on her back, as they headed for a table, and whispered in her ear "Relax, you are in good hands."

She gave him a small smile. He pulled out a chair for her and she sat down. He said "I'm gonna go get us some drinks, okay? Anything in particular that you're in the mood for?"

"I'm here for the company not the alcohol so anything will do, handsome."

He nodded and left. She looked all around at the other couples. To her eyes all the women were hotter than her and she wondered how long it would be till Derek went back to his playboy ways. All she knew was that she needed to see what they could be.

Even if it ended in heartbreak.

When he came back he pulled his chair right up to hers, at the round table, so he could speak in a low voice and she would hear him. He said "Here you go, baby. I got us club soda so we can drive home in a little bit."

They had both brought their own cars. They sipped their drinks for a moment.

He asked her "Wasn't that case today wild? That guy forgot his whole life for a while there. I can't even imagine it....forgetting my beautiful baby girl."

"It would be a tragedy for sure."

"Even if I forgot you...Penelope....I know I'd fall for you all over again. There's just something about you that is irresistible to me." His eyes searched hers for a reaction.

After a moment her eyes clouded with tears "I'm so sorry, handsome!"and then she ran out.

Derek chased her and found her outside. "Wait, baby girl! Wait! What's going on? Why are you sorry?.....Is it because you want Lynch? Just say it if you want him. I can take it. Just because we're friends don't let me push you into something you don't want with me."

"You silly man! I'm sorry for ever being with Lynch and hurting you. I love you! And now you don't even believe me because I hurt you by ignoring your wonderful, amazing words to me when you first told me about your love for me. I ruined everything. I have to get out of here."

He pulled her close to him and said "Not before I get a good night kiss," he said, in a throaty growl, and then his lips connected with her, giving her a kiss that left her clinging to him....feeling completely breathless.


	6. Chapter 6

**You Know That, Right?**

**Note- This chapter takes place during season three finale titled Lo Fi and the season four premiere titled Mayhem.**

**Chapter Six**

Derek walked into Penelope's office, not long after their team briefing, "You ready to hit the road, baby girl? Got your go bag?"

"Its in the trunk of Esther."

"I'll grab it on the way to the SUV. We're wheels up in thirty so lets get going."

"I'm so excited I get to come along this time! I hardly never get out of my lair. I love it here but its exciting to be in the same place as you...and the rest of the team, of course."

He grinned. His finger came up and brushed her nose. "You and me in the same hotel....sounds all sorts of scandalous."

She grinned back. "Only if we do it right."

XXXXXXXXXX

The trip quickly turned into a nightmare, on most counts. Derek was snapping at Hotch, at odds with the unit leader over how Hotch trusted Agent Kate Joyner when Derek didn't.

Penelope was stuck in a dark office going through hours of security footage and having to watch their unsub kill people on camera.

By the time they made it back to the hotel they were both exhausted. Penelope was supposed to be sharing a suite with JJ and Emily but only Emily was there when she walked in. Penelope heard about Will showing up and outing JJ's pregnancy.

Hearing this she decided to go to Derek's room and give him the good news about JJ. He could probably use some at this point. She collected a few bottles of booze from the mini bar and headed down the hall.

When he opened the door for her he was wearing just pajama pants. She lost her breath. "Remember what I said about wanting to feel breathless? Job well done, Hot Stuff."

He smirked at her, brought his hand up to cup the back of her head, gave her a thorough and intense kiss then pulled her inside. She was stunned. His kisses always left her feeling like she was flying.

Looking around she asked "We're alone? Where's Reid?"

"The kid went on a walk to think."

"You heard about JJ then?"

"No. What about her?"

Garcia smiled. "She has a bun in the oven. Isn't that great, handsome?"

"Wow. Good for her," he said, sincerely. "But..."

He didn't have to say more for her to know he was feeling bad for Reid. She wrapped her arms around Derek's waist, pressed her ear to his heart, and said "I thank God for you, baby."

"Same here," he said, his voice thick with emotion before he kissed her head.

She moved away and pulled the bottles of booze out of her purse. "What's your pleasure?"

He flirted with her "Such a dangerous question."

She smiled back then sat on the bed, opened a bottle and offered it to him. They hung out drinking and talking for hours.

_(There are places I'll remember_

_all my life._

_Though some have changed._

_-_

_Some forever not for better._

_Some have gone._

_Some remain._

_-_

_All these places have their moments_

_with lover and friends_

_I still can recall._

_-_

_Some are dead and some are living._

_In my life, I loved them all_)

JJ and Will are in the bar, talking about their future. Hotch is reading the newspaper that has a story about the killer. Prentiss is in her room, staring out the window. Rossi is still at the police station, trying to find that one piece of information in the file that will break the case. Reid is sitting in a diner, drinking coffee, and staring out the window- as rain pours down.

_(But of all these friends and lovers._

_There is no one_

_compares to you._

_-_

_And these memories lose their meaning_

_when I think of love as something new._

_-_

_Though I know I'll never lose affection_

_for people and things that went before._

_-_

_I know I'll often_

_stop and think about them._

_-_

_In my life, I love you more_.) (Chantal Kreviazuk cover version of Beatles song)

Reid remembers saying "You know she's the only one who calls me Spence."

XXXXXXXXXX

Over and over, it happened again and again, and she could hardly stand it. Each time he is in danger it feels like her heart stops and it doesn't start again till she hears his voice. That next day was like that more than once.

First she heard from Rossi that a black SUV exploded. Just like the kind Derek was driving around the city. Till she heard his voice on the other end of the phone she couldn't even think straight.

Later that day its so much worse. He's racing through the streets in an ambulance filled with explosives...trying to tell her something but she can't really think about what because all she can think is "DON'T YOU DIE, DEREK MORGAN! I NEED YOU."

In the end his voice fills her ear again. He's still alive. And her heart beats once more.

XXXXXXXXXX

The next time she sees him she knows a truth he never mentioned to her before: that if Kate messed up her job then that job, in New York City, would be his.

She also knows Kate is dead. All this information came from Rossi, who had no idea that Morgan and Garcia were now dating. Though he was a perceptive man so maybe telling her wasn't a slip of his tongue at all.

Morgan is dirty and his shoulder is sore when he walks into the computer room where Garcia has been working. He opens his arm to her and she rushes into them. He buries his face into the crook of her neck, breathing heavily, "I love you, baby girl. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

She grips him tightly. He really does piss her off sometimes. Hero complex. Ambition to spare. And he keeps his mouth shut till he has to tell her- when it comes to things that he's afraid might upset her or make him lose her.

But she loves him so much that it hurts. So she won't be giving up on her noir hero anytime soon.

THE END


End file.
